UNDERSTAND

Start with the problem you recognise.

You do not need to know the psychology. Choose the thing that keeps happening and follow it from there.

You see it afterwards. The same kind of reaction. The same regret. The same promise that next time will be different.

Your tone changes. Your body tightens. The words are already coming out. Then afterwards you understand what happened.

Something happens. Then your mind keeps replaying it, predicting, interpreting and trying to work out what it means.

Sometimes you do not want the behaviour itself. You want what you believe it will change inside you.

You know what needs doing. You may even want the result. But when the moment comes, something pulls you back.

You do not need to know exactly what the problem is before you begin.