Limiting Beliefs
A belief can feel true without being the truth.
Why You Sabotage Things When They Start Going Well
Watch the video, then use the reflection below.
Watch on YouTube ↗A belief becomes a filter
A belief becomes a filter. Once you believe something about yourself, it affects what you notice, what you expect, what you attempt and what you avoid.
The loop
Belief → emotion → behaviour → result → stronger belief.
The pillars holding the belief up
Think of a limiting belief like a heavy stone resting on pillars. The stone might say “I’m weak” or “I’ll never change.” The pillars underneath might be past failures, criticism or rejection, comparison, painful experiences, and years of repeating the same behaviour. One failure does not prove you will always fail. One rejection does not prove you are unworthy. But if you collect every painful experience, give it the same meaning and ignore everything that contradicts it, the belief starts feeling carved in stone.
Behaviour leaves clues
The behaviour is a clue. Explore the feeling, expectation or belief that may sit underneath.
A belief I once carried
There were beliefs I carried that felt like facts. One was that I would never get a good job or become successful. If I had lived from that belief, it would have stopped me applying, trying or noticing opportunities. But I went offshore and got a better job than I once believed possible. The belief had felt like a fact. It wasn’t. It was a conclusion. And my actions gave me evidence that contradicted it.
Responsibility without blame
Understanding your beliefs does not excuse harm caused by your behaviour. It can help you understand what was directing that behaviour so you can take responsibility for changing it. Explanation is not an excuse.
Five questions
- What do I believe?
- What pillars hold it up?
- Is it completely true?
- What evidence have I ignored?
- What action would make it slightly less true today?